Tender Mercies

Today at church a woman gave a great talk about looking for the Lord's tender mercies in our lives... things that many would call coincidences, but that are orchestrating by a loving God. She quoted from a fantastic talk given by Elder David A. Bednar in April 2005. (here is the link: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/04/the-tender-mercies-of-the-lord?lang=eng)

Hearing her talk made me think about the tender mercies we receive as individuals and as a family. I decided that for my Family Home Evening (FHE aka family devotion time) lesson I would talk with my family about tender mercies, and ask them for examples in their lives this past week. I was surprised when Matthew was the first to raise his hand to share. He said that this past Friday at his school's movie night he really wanted to win the movie they had shown, Maleficent. He had prayed before the movie started that he would win it. I told  him it is a good thing to pray, and asked if he knew a prayer wasn't a guarantee of winning. He said he knew, but that Jesus had told him he would have a chance to win. That night they held the drawing and his raffle ticket was off by one number. He was so disappointed. When we got to the car he said that God had lied to him. I reminded him that God had said he would have a chance to win, then asked if had had that chance. He said he had. I told him God didn't lie to him, and it was okay to be disappointed. Saturday he told me that he had been thinking about not winning the movie, and that it was okay because he could ask for it as Christmas or perhaps buy it on sale later in the year. Today he said that God's tender mercy was giving him that idea, and it helped him not be disappointed any more. Definitely a tender mercy, sometimes his disappointment lingers for a LONG time. I am so grateful for a God who takes notice of us even in the small things like movies.

Ceithlinn said that the tender mercy she received was word that her best friend, Jaelyn, who was diagnosed with leukemia in December, was doing well. She hasn't been able to see her since early December and misses her fiercely. The middle school made a blanket for Jaelyn. One of Ceithlinn's other friends, Adrianna, and her mom dropped the blanket off to Jaelyn. Adrianna was able to talk to Ceithlinn about how Jaelyn was doing, and that eased some of her worry and heavy heart. I am so grateful for the tender mercy of good friends and God's timing.

Josh said that the tender mercy he received this week was getting sick today. He has slept most of the day. It is good to be able to slow down. It is also fortunate that it is Sunday so he doesn't have to cancel any work. Getting sick isn't always seen as a tender mercy, but it really can be when you are overworked and self-employed. There is no paid-time off when you are your own boss. So grateful for God's timing and healing. Josh should be well enough to go to work tomorrow. Another tender mercy, tomorrow's work starts later than usual and he has some break time where no clients are coming in. He can rest if he needs to tomorrow at work.

My tender mercy is a bit complicated. Very long story short. There is a PTA director that keeps giving our president bad advice, meaning it goes against PTA rules and creates more chaos in our PTA. He sent an email stating that effective immediately he will be taking a personal leave of absence for the rest of his term.  While I have compassion for the fact that his life has tough stuff going on, I am so relieved that he won't be able to advise our president any more. I am hopeful that things will look up for our PTA, and my stress level will significantly decrease. Big tender mercy, I have been trying to figure out how to work things out with the chaos, and haven't been very successful. This definitely helps with that.

So, what are the tender mercies in your life?

After the meeting today I was able to tell the woman how her talk touched me. In the course of the conversation she said that someone she knew gave a FHE lesson on this topic and then gave each of their children a journal to write their tender mercies in for the week. The next week at FHE they all shared what they had written. It was surprising to some to find out that something they did just to be nice to another family member was seen as a tender mercy... when something happened right when they needed it. I loved this idea.

This week for our family journal time we will write at least one tender mercy we receive during the day or maybe an act of service that may have given someone else that tender mercy. I know that as we do this our gratitude and optimism will increase. I know that love will fill our home. I know we will more closely look for the little miracles and kindnesses. I know we will want to serve more.

I'll let you know how what we discover, and might even share some of our past miracle/tender mercy stories along the way.

Where to Begin??

I almost feel like I need to reintroduce us, even though if you are reading this you know us.

First, Josh and I met on Oct. 31, 1999 at a mutual friend's engagement party. We had served our missions together and they were in the same ward (church congregation). At the party Rebekah had a couple different groups of people... childhood friends and college friends... I was only mission friend. I sat in her kitchen not trying to hide the fact that I was bored. I was wondering if I had been there long enough to make an appropriate exit when Josh walked into the kitchen for a sticky bun. According to him he looked over and saw this woman looking pathetic, and thought he would be nice and talk to me while he ate his sticky bun, then he would go home to finish homework. Well, we started talking about our interest in dancing and music, then slowly others left, and in the end it was us and our engaged friends. We talked until midnight about missions and life. We laughed a ton! At the end of the night I thought he was nice, and I wouldn't mind being his friend. Fast forward to August 18, 2000 when we were sealed in the LDS American Fork, UT Temple... still the best decision I have ever made.

Second, Josh -- age 38, earned his BA in Human and Family Relations at BYU (BYU-Provo, now) in April 2002. We move to Washington that August so Josh could attend PLU (Pacific Lutheran University) and earn his MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. Originally, we were going to move to Washington for two years, then return to Utah to live by family. Well, about a year and a half into that plan we realized we really loved Washington and didn't want to move. So, here we have stayed... home, sweet, home. Josh has established his own practice with a partner in Puyallup, Hope Counseling. His partner, Mary, came up with the name years ago because hope is what they are trying to give the people they counsel. Isn't that great? Josh loves singing and regularly sings with a group Canto del Coure, and participates in lots of church productions. He is truly an amazing man, husband and father. I count my blessing daily that he walked into that kitchen.

Third, Jeni (me) -- age 39, is two economics papers away from actually earning my Associates in Business from Pierce College here in Puyallup. (Yes, I know it looks like I graduated, but I haven't. Long story short I needed to take an incomplete in MicroEconomics. I retook the class my last quarter. I had a few papers to finish writing. The prof wasn't willing to let me slide [which is good] and settle for a lower grade. Because the class was an incomplete I have up to 6 years to complete those silly papers. I obviously haven't wanted to do them. Well, that ends this month... I will let you know when they are done.) I am actually doing quite a bit with this degree. I am the secretary for our elementary PTA. This is it's charter year, so I am basically helping to set up a non-profit organization. It is a lot of work, but worth it, because I am helping the kids and families at the school and in the community. I am also a board member of the middle school PTO (yes, there is a difference. No, I will not go into now.) I am also the new Mt. Tahoma Cub Scout Day Camp Director. I will be directing two four-day day camps for the cub scouts in our district. I am a bit nervous about this one, but am also really excited. I never thought I would have a passion for Scouting, but when Matthew fell in love with it, so did I. I am blessed to be able to do all this volunteer work for the community and with my kids. It really means a lot to them to have me involved in their lives. Oh, what do I do just for me? Good question... honestly, I read. I read a book a week give or take. I usually wonder around my library and grab whatever catches my eye. I have read some good books doing that. (Yes, I need more recent pictures of me alone.)

Ceithlinn -- age 12, graced us with her presence on July 16, 2002. She was curious from the very beginning. She earned the name, "Bright Eyes" at the hospital. While all the other babies slept (this was back in when hospitals had nurseries), she quietly looked around. She continues to be curious and it is serving her well. This past year in school she participated in track and field at Mountain View Middle School. This was brand new to her. She ran the 100 meter, threw shot put and did the long jump. She LOVES running the 100 meter and was very good at the shot put. She is also one of 10 7th graders in the 8th grade band. She was specially selected last year because of her dedication and skill. She marched in her first parades this past December. She was nervous at first, but then, said she knew they would be alright when at the first parade a Bonney Lake Police Officer who keeps MMS safe got on his loud speaker and said, "Way to go, Mountain View Marching Band!" They kept on marching, no one missed a beat. Honestly, what can go wrong when you have Officer Green on your side? What else? Ceithinn went on a People to People Student Ambassador trip in July 2013. She loved it so much she wants to do another trip to Australia and one Antarctica. Ceithlinn is an amazingly creative young woman who loves to draw, write and craft. She has a huge heart and looks for ways to share her love. She is perhaps the best big sister in the world to her two younger siblings. Ceithlinn also is a member of Fire and Ice Irish Dancers, and is looking forward to spending many years with them. I am totally in love with this girl who is almost as tall as me and regularly borrows my high heels. (When did our feet grow to the same size?)

Matthew -- age 9, made his debut on March 26, 2005, it was the Saturday before Easter. He has been all boy from the beginning. His cry was deeper and he was more frustrated about not being able to move his body. He started walking at 10 months and was tackling his sister a few months later. Matthew LOVES Legos and says one of his talents in "to create." It is fun to see his imagination soar with these little pieces of plastic.He also really loves Scouts, and has earned his Bobcat, Wolf and Bear rank advancements, arrow points, and other awards. He once told me he wanted to be a scout his whole life. He is currently working on earning his World Conservation badge and wants to earn a few more belt loops and arrow points before his 10th birthday. Matthew gives the very best hugs in the whole wide world, and gives them pretty freely, especially if he knows you are having a rough minute. He is an AMAZING brother. He is supportive and encouraging to Ceithlinn. He can make Aimee laugh like no one else, and takes good care of her and loves to show her off to other. I am head-over-heels in love with this Matthew-boy, and know how blessed I am to be his mom.

Aimee -- age 6 1/2 months, joined our family on June 20, 2014. We chose her name long before we looked at the meaning. Her name means "beloved" or "most loved." We think this is a very appropriate name for this sweet little girl. She is truly one of the most loved babies ever born. She comes to all my volunteer work with me (one of the benefits of volunteering with kid's organizations), and people always stop and want to hold her, hug her, make her laugh and enjoy her. At the middle school some staff members know her name, but have no clue what mine is. :) Aimee is a most excellent sitter. She is starting to figure out how to get up on her knees in preparation for crawling. She really wants to get moving, and get frustrated when her body doesn't cooperate. She smiles often, and has the best laugh -- actually, all the kids have the best laughs, they are contagious. Consider yourself warned. I am still overcome with joy that this little one is here. 7 years is a long time to wait, and she is TOTALLY worth it.

Well, there you have it. The Gates family reintroduced. I am excited to see what else we share this year. I have some ideas rolling around in my head. :)  Thanks for coming along for the ride.

A New Year... another go at this...

I have decided it is time to get back to getting this blog done. I have lost so much of our family history by putting it off. There are several reasons why I stopped updating this blog. Several revolved around what others might think.... the blog is too long, they won't want to read it.... I offended someone when I said xyz and don't want to do that again... what if I don't say something profound, will they be bored? I don't want them to be bored.  I have decided I can't control others thoughts or feelings. I won't go out of my way to be offensive or boring. If someone chooses to be offended or bored they can stop reading. (I know, it was an amazing epiphany.)

Then there were emotional reasons. We tried for 7 years to get our Aimee Joy. We went through 3 miscarriages and 3 bouts of postpartum depression. I wasn't all happy and bubbly. I didn't want that put out here for others. Then I realized that was a bit unrealistic. No one is happy all the time. I write this so my kids and grandkids have a history (I print it off and keep it in a book). I want them to know the reality of what happened so they can hopefully see that hard times come and you can get through them. I will write more on this later. Aimee doesn't have anything written about her pregnancy, and I think now that she is 6 months old it's about time to document that, don't you.

Finally, there is that saddest excuse of all. I have to have pictures to go with every post. Really? Who  made that rule up? Oh, yeah, me. I can change that rule. While I will attempt to add pictures because I think I have a pretty beautiful family, every post may not have pictures, and that is okay. It is... (as I let out a big sigh, and let this silly expectation go)

So, there you have it, folks. I am setting time aside each Sunday to get this done. I am looking forward to getting the kids involved with some of the topics, photos and writing. It is time I get back to writing our history.We all deserve it.

Coming Soon...

I go through spurts and stops...okay, mostly stops when it comes to writing this blog. I have realized recently that I am missing out on a lot of our family's history when I don't keep this up. SO... I have a list of about 6 or so posts to update here. The goal is to get one done a day for the next week. Then on Sunday write about anything great that has happened in the week. If nothing great happened, then maybe write about the mundane. The truth of the matter is, I have AMAZING children who always surprise me and make me laugh. My husband is talented, loving and wonderful. I think even the mundane could be good to write about. Keep you eyes peeled for the latest additions!

We will also be updating Ceithlinn's Alaska blog www.alaskaadventure2013.blogspot.com with the latest information about preparations for her trip to Alaska in July with People to People.

Grateful Moments

 

I have been sitting here today filled with gratitude as I have thought over a few things that have occurred recently.

The first, is continued gratitude to Discount Tire for our new tires (yes, they are going to get a card and treat from us). This past week or so has been very cold, sunny and icy here. There have been many times where we would have slid on our old tires that I give a prayer of gratitude for the new one. A couple incidences this past Saturday. We were driving home from cleaning the church building. We turned right off of SR-410 toward Sumner-Buckley Hwy. On the corner there is an Applebee's and Target. A woman in a big SUV didn't come to a complete stop before exiting the parking lot. She was busy lighting a cigarette and forgot to look both ways. Josh slammed on the brakes... accident averted. Big sighs of relief. We made it onto Sumner-Buckley which is a bit winding and was icy. Josh turned on the blinker to let cars behind us know we would be turning left onto Angeline, a street perpendicular to S-B. We were at a full stop because we needed to wait for a car going the other direction to pass before we could complete the turn. All of the sudden Josh it the accelerator. Then I heard the truck behind us sliding on the ice as he hit his brakes. I can only guess he thought we were going to turn immediately or didn't see the blinker or something. Again, the tires grabbed the road... another accident averted. So grateful for our news tires.

Second, as we finished our ride home I thanked Josh for keeping us safe on the drive home. He said, you're welcome or something. Matthew said, "Of course, he keeped us safe. He's the dad and that's what they do." I am so grateful for an AMAZING husband who is such a great example of what it means to be a man, husband and father. My son is learning the lessons.

Third, last night we were discussing some fundraising options for Ceithlinn's trip this summer with People to People. The whole family was brainstorming ideas and getting really excited about the possibilities. A sweet moment came Matthew has an idea to build a monster truck course out of mashed potatoes. He would then charge people to ride. He said he would get a whole pile of money and then he said, "I would give it to Ceithlinn for her Alaska Adventure." She immediately looked over at him with a big grin, (I was sitting between them, or she probably would have hugged him) "Oh, thank you, Matthew! That is so kind!" So grateful for my children who are learning how to truly support and love each other. They really are two of the best kids in the ENTIRE world!! So grateful for the love they share with each other.

Fourth, I am grateful to a husband who works hard to provide for our family so I have time to be at home with my children.

Fifth, overwhelmed with gratitude for the great family and friends we have that are supporting our fundraising efforts. Every time we tell people what we are doing, the outpouring of love and positivity and resources in amazing.

JUST SO GRATEFUL TODAY!

Matthew's Unspoken Rule About Losing Teeth

Matthew lost another tooth today. He was so excited. He is getting really good at this losing teeth thing. He hasn't lost that many. I think this is his fourth tooth lost in his almost 8 years. Only one tooth has been lost at school. The others have been lost/pulled with the aid of dental floss here at home. He seems to have an unspoken rule, though. (I know, you didn't realize there were rules for losing teething.) The rule is:  

Teeth can only be pulled as a stalling technique. They can be lost before bed, especially if I am already later to bed than Mom and Dad would like. OR They can be lost when I am running late for school, thus making me late for school, but it's okay because I have a great story as to why I am late.

I just had to laugh this morning as I was trying to get the kids out the door. I have learned to let it go and enjoy the moment. He gets so excited and looks so stinkin' cute with a "hole in his head," as my dad used to say. He also now has a little whistle when he says his S. Like I said, stinkin' cute.

Tire Miracle -- Jan 8, 2013

Discount Tire in Bonney Lake ROCKS!!!

Yesterday I noticed that my two front tires were bald and desperately needed to be replaced. I thought I will look at the finances and get that done tomorrow because it is supposed to snow this weekend, and driving on bald tires isn't safe. Then I was driving around a curve in the road. It was raining (I know surprising). I realized I was going a little fast and needed to slow down. I tapped the brakes and fishtailed to the right, then the left, then started to donut. I donutted off the road. I was grateful that I know how to handle that type of scenario and kept a level head. I think having two grandfathers that taught us well helped a lot. I was grateful the car was fine, I was fine and the kids were safely at school. I was also grateful I had noticed the bald tires so I was prepared for a spin in needed.

Today went to Discount Tire here. I knew I had enough in the budget for 2 tires, nothing else. I approached the man behind the counter and let him know this. He gave me an estimated cost of $248... that was about $38 over budget. I let him know that I had $210. He suggested I take out credit. I kindly turned him down saying we already had enought debt I didn't need more. He looked at the car and came back in. He told me all 4 tires needed to be replaced. They were all bald (I am horrible about rotating my tires...). I said I was sure they did, but that I only had the money for two. He said let me see what I can work out for you. He then punched in some things into the computer. He was able to lower the price to $227.94. He then proceeded to tell me that he couldn't let me leave knowing there were two unsafe tires. The quietly said that two tires would be on them. I thought I must have heard wrong and waited the half hour or so for the tires to be replaced.

A different employee told me my car was finished and signed me out. As I approached the car I noticed the back tires looked new. I thought I don't want to break down with tears of gratitude here. I will check them when I get home. Sure enough... we have 4 NEW TIRES! I am so grateful to this man and whatever funds he was able to dip into to give us new tires. I am overwhelmed with deep gratitude.

God truly is mindful of us and puts people in our path when they are needed. I am looking forward to the time when I can pay it forward and work a miracle for someone else in need.